Tuesday, February 7, 2012

It's been a while.

I miss smoking.
For a waitress, it's as essential to not killing someone as finding Jesus is to a death row convict. By that I mean it's the only thing that keeps us going through that never ending 10 hour shift on a Sunday morning.
We count every minute, each as infinite as the last until finally our manager/owner/superior says "Fine, go! But don't come cryin' to me when you get fucking caner, moron!"
Then, fumbling with the pack out of panic, excitement, a feverish need to put the filter in our mouths, flick a lighter or a match and catch the exposed end of the tobacco stick, sucking angrily until the delicious burning, mellow smoke fills our waiting lungs.
That first exhale hurts, but it's a good hurt; it makes the second puff sweeter.
After that first cigarette, nothing else matters, because I've finally gotten to fill my body with the nicotine it's been craving for the past dozen or so hours.
Do what you will after that first glorious cigarette, for it matters not to the Angry Waitress.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Restoring my Faith in Humanity

Special thanks go out to my 3 guys who came in to work tonight (you know who you are!) I truly appreciate good conversation and wonderful costumers! It only takes one good table in a night to make me remember why I started being a waitress, I love to make people happy and food is usually the way to the heart. Out of a whole night of mediocrity and bad tips it only takes one nice table in a night to make it a good one. People please remember, when you go out that WE are REAL people, not slaves or drones or robots or subhuman, I have a heart that beats just as fiercely as yours does and I can be hurt just as easily. I love my job and the people I work with and thankyou to those special costumers that make shift worth working!

All men's souls are immortal, but the souls of the righteous are immortal and divine. Socrates

Thursday, August 20, 2009

I'm not a racist. I hate everyone the same.

Dear Ghetto ass members of the Black Community and White Trash,

Please learn how to tip. I'm sick and tired of waiting on you folks. All you do is complain so you can get things for free and then not tip your server. This is my job; you know, that thing you do to make money? No, no. NOT the check you get every other Friday from the government, that thing you go to for 8-12 hours a day and you EARN a living. This is what I do to EARN money, so if you get good service leave a good tip! Or even a tip at all; that little thing called tax at the bottom of your check is not the tip, so the tip is not included. Maybe if Oprah or Maury did a show on how to tip your server.
Bottom line, if you can't afford to go out to eat order fucking carry out or go to McDonald's.

Be as you wish to seem. Socrates.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

First post.

I've been wanting to create a blog for the longest time. Not because I think people should listen to what I say, well that's part of it, but mostly because 90% of people don't know proper consumer etiquette. First of all, DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE. Secondly, if you have a problem and the person you are currently talking to does not have the authority to fix it ask KINDLY to speak to a higher authority. Third, and finally, don't take things out on people (especially a waitress/waiter/server/whatever) when YOUR problem is NOT their fault. I understand that this world is frustrating and there are always extenuating circumstances, but THINK before your bad mood ruins some other person's entire day.

Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior. Socrates